Apr 7
2014

Scarecrow lovers part IV

So much has happened down at the allotment since I last posted that I hardly know where to begin. The last we saw of head-scarved Harry, he was ashen-faced and coke-addled following his bodged gender reassignment. The Lady of Shallot was disembodied in the shed, dreaming of a handsome hobby-horse-boy she’d glimpsed on another plot. […]

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Aug 22
2013

Love among the leeks part III

Remember allotment lovers Harry and the Lady of Shallot?  Theirs was a thwarted union, partly because of their broomstick bodies and sponge ball heads. It was also because an allotment neighbour in the grip of a fantasy about juicy cukes erected a poly tunnel between them. I held out hope for the foiled pair. It […]

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Jan 5
2013

Velveteen Visitor

I find fresh mounds of finely churned soil every time I visit our allotment, as if a tiny phantom rotovator is on the loose.

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May 23
2012

Compost complications

Composting is a complex business. When we whipped the plastic tarp off our heap this Spring, the whole thing was as dry as a crust. To worms and beetles visiting for their winter holidays, it must have been a bitter disappointment, like arriving at a half-built hotel.

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Apr 28
2012

A friend in weed is a friend indeed

When I mention the allotment to friends, they often say ‘how rewarding, eating your own veg! And all that fresh air you get.’

These friends aren’t allotment-holders. The ones that are raise their eyebrows and silently clasp my shoulder to express their sympathy at this difficult time of year.

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